dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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