so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I'm eating all of the evidence.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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