he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Randomize