yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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