i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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