I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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