Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
