dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize