Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
