Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
