Little spoons don't ask big questions
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Randomize
