I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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