No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
