She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize