We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize