:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
