apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
