So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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