god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
He passed out mid-signature
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
