So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
