hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
