You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
