Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
