I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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