We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
