i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
