I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
