i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
