today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
