Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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