My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
