i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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