I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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