fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
