I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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