I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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