Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
