how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
