I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
