You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
