okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
