its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
His hands were made for my vagina.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize