She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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