Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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