I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
