He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
