woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
