We're facebook friends in real life
Do you still have your period?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Randomize
