i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
and she was petting her beer can
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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