i think my tv is drunk
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
we made out on top of his cat.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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