hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
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