So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
