shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
