nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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