Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize